Not music related... but funny!

I just need to recount this story:

My sister and I just returned from Walmart at midnight. Now- I know this is pretty late for a Walmart excursion... but I really wanted Skittles and some Juicy Gels. (Cravings happen!)

I don't know how many you you facebookers have been to an all night Wally World, but you witness some funny stuff. I've been there at 3 AM to get cold medicine and witnessed a 5 person family- complete with little kids- purchase a 52 inch tv and couch. I've witnessed a girl fall and start bleeding on the floor while waiting to pay. Multiple used tampons floating in a flooding toilet.

Tonight, however, we stood behind a stuttering middle-aged man with a strange accent who bird crap and feathers stuck to his clothing. He was making a giant pile of stuff he didn't want on the floor by the cashier which included A stool, 2 Barbies, a book, various toys and odd building supplies like hinges. Keep in mind this in MIDNIGHT. Stuff he's actually buying include: a paintball gun, light switch covers, 6 pepsis, a Miley Cyrus poster and 3 DIFFERENT WHELLS for a bed. Like 3 different styles/sizes. Not 4- but 3. He was price check as he went. By the 15 minute mark, I got the chuckles and Kelly just got pissed! He then proceeded to mumble a joke to the cashier about checking his ID because you need to be over 18 to buy the paintball gun. (He was balding, with bifocals and wearing a leather bomber jacket circa 1989.) Finally she finished processing his $300 order of random, random shit and he fumbles in his pocket and then proceeds to explode the entire contents of his wallet on the floor and in so nervous, for some reason, that he can't pick up any of his credit cards. Usually I'd help a dude out... but seriously- this guy was creepy and overtly nervous. Once he does pick his life up- he can't afford the stuff that made it past the 3 inspections he did. He starts riffling through the bags and pulling out items and asking the cashier what she could do about the price of certain things. After the VERY patient casher tells him that there is nothing she can do, he just stand there for a bit... thinking or something. He just walks away still mumbling- something about a bank machine.

I was crying at the hilarity of this poor dude by now. MIDNIGHT. Paint ball gun. 3. DIFFERENT. Bed Wheel thingys.

A quality Walmart excursion.